I enjoyed this script a great deal, and think the writer did a wonderful job of keeping the action moving. Stories like this, when not well written, can get bogged down. There was never a time when I felt this story hit so much as a bump in the road.

I am a firm believer in the fact that scripts should jump right into the action, and this one does not disappoint.

The writer displayed an excellent working knowledge of the CIA, the Russian military, life in Russia, bio-terrorism, and methods of torture. If he had tried to fudge his way through any of these topics, it would have stood out, and the story would have suffered for it.

I loved the character of Valentina, the orphan rescued from a sad life, and turned into a killing machine. Her being a circus performer not only provided a perfect cover, but also added an interesting depth to her character. The writer was wise to display her acrobatic abilities later in the story, rather than just wasting it as window dressing.

Overall, I thought this was a great story. Well written. Well-researched. It was something along the lines of what Tom Clancy might write, and I'm a big fan of his work.

- AH

RED MERCURY is a thriller with smart action, exotic visuals, and a fascinating leading lady, Valentina. This is a high concept story about a deadly terrorist weapon, a gas called Red Mercury that stimulates the limbic system of the brain causing the victims to turn into raging killers.

The BEST character is Valentina, a beautiful Russian circus performer who is also a trained killer. The juxtaposition of Valentina's precise and brutal behavior (as she pursues Red Mercury) with her passionate side as an artistic circus acrobat makes her a great character.

- LF

This was a very interesting thriller with a firecracker pace. The racing action reminded me of Enemy of the State - a very different movie but similar in non-stop flurry.

The opening massacre scene and the Russian setting with talk of an odorless gas that turns men into killers was a good hook. I was intrigued.

I like this as a movie and I would settle into the theatre for a hell of a ride.

- SJ

Like a cross between a jerry bruckheimer spy film/ alias / sum of all fears type picture. It was very fun to read.

- AB

I really liked the pace and the "sleekness" for lack of a better term, of this script. The writer wastes no time at all setting up Red Mercury and its lethal effects, then introducing Alex, the protagonist, in a thrilling scene, and getting him immediately into the plot of finding his sister and the renegade KGB official.

Things move at a good clip, which is good for a spy film. Also of note is the use of the Circus Kirov, of which Valya is a member. Valya's skills as an acrobat are used quite cleverly in various scenes where she must escape danger or is surreptitiously breaking and entering various buildings.

The action sequences were very good, very exciting, and very visual. During these sequences it was easy to picture this story up on a movie screen.

I also thought the back story of Valya, donating time and efforts to the orphanage she came from, played well against Alex's back story of bitterness at how the CIA treated his father in time of need. The two stories complimented each other well, and added depth to characters that could easily have fallen into stereotypes.

- GC

I found Red Mercury to be an easy and effortless read. The dialogue is good overall. And there is a cast of colorful and interesting characters that I think come off well.

- AD

RED MERCURY does a good job of presenting an action plot with a fairly original idea, complete with a couple of believable characters that we come to care about.

- MQ

I just loved this screenplay, and I don't say that lightly. Your skill with language caused the emotional rollercoaster to be exciting, and this is so important for RED MERCURY's action/thriller genre.

Valentina wouldn't be difficult to cast because any actress would like to stretch the width of emotion you've written for her.

Valentina's being in the circus would be just so much fun to film and beautiful to watch. And a circus is a fitting metaphor for your whole story since nothing is as it seems; circuses are full of tricks and magic, or you might say deception.

The ending was perfect because Valentina was so tough throughout, and these people are spies after all, and it just wouldn't have done to have Alex and Valentina ride off into the sunset in an expensive car without that final confrontation between them.

- MJ

I really like Valentina and Alex. You play them against each other like a puppet master. I especially like how each manipulates change in the other.

- BB

I enjoyed reading this script. It sticks above the majority of Zoe scripts that I've read. Speaking as a recreational movie fan, this read like a Bond flick without 007. It was fast paced and had lots of physical action. Good spy mix. Good love story.

- PG

Red Mercuryfire is an adult spy story. Ronin comes to mind for tone. Ronin meets Alias meets Cirque...Valya is the A+ character.

The weapon is definitely what is the "strange attractor." Though it might be tough to sell in a logline, it works great in the script. It would work great in a James Bond film as well. I enjoyed it a lot. It was very different and better than many of the scripts I read on Zoe. I felt like you had control all the way through.

Concept: Good: As for Hollywood, may be too Russian for them but what the hell do I know. Valya makes a great hero in this age of popular female superheros.

Writing: Superb. Some of the best I've seen. I was worried all the Russian words and terms would get in the way, but instead it convinced me you were an authority and helped me keep trust in you throughout.

Also, the action scenes were extremely well written. Which I know is hard to do...These were on a level with professional quality scripts.

You also nailed the structure. Overall a great sample of your writing. It proves not only you're a screenwriter, but a WRITER as well.

- JN

This script is wonderful. Very fast paced...something I like to see in an Action script. The story is very well developed with visual elements that bring us into the cold Russian setting. You can tell that you spent a lot of time on this. The subject matter (Red Mercury) is valuably intense due to our continued war on terror.

I've read some action scripts that try very hard to introduce a love plot within the structure, but only fail...which results in a very bad "Steven Segal" type piece that I just turn my nose up on. You handle the relationship between Valya and Alex with subtle grace that doesn't take away from the main focus of saving Russian society and the US reputation. I like the banter between the two of them, as they are obviously attracted to one another, but seem to be a force against one another.

All your characters are strong and have depth.

- CF

I enjoyed reading Red Mercury very much. There was never a spot where the story drug along--a good blend of action and interpersonal conflict, and a screenplay that should have solid appeal for Hollywood.

Characters were right out of a good spy novel, offering good roles for actors. There was a lot of action, and even the romantic interests didn't get in the way of that and bog things down--a flaw in many action/dramas.

There was just the right amount of setting description to give a feel of the Moscow environment. Action description was very good. Transitions between scenes followed the needs of the story well.

- JT

It is very obvious that this is a well formatted, intelligent script. The formatting was respectful of the readers time as it was concise and well paced. The way the script starts, with the violence caused by red mercury, in an experimental situation, is very reminiscent of something from reality. This shows that the writer is in tune with the realities of the 'immoralities' of the security agencies around the world.

- RD

Red Mercury is an exciting espionage/action thriller which centres on American attempts to acquire a dangerous gas developed by Russian scientists which has now fallen into the hands of a corrupt military.

I enjoyed this screenplay far more than any I've read on Zoetrope thus far. The construction of the script is well thought through, and this allows the scenes to develop into a smoothly-flowing narrative. I presume that the author has written from first-hand knowledge of Russian culture. If not, then the research work is obviously comprehensive.

The script benefits from the use of tension and subtlety rather than the more predictable explosions and machismo usually associated with what I'll loosely call an MI:007 type film. This creates an altogether classier narrative which is much more tasteful, more European in feel, and will attract the attention of more thoughtful directors.

The action lines are simple, uncomplicated and explanative. The result is an easy, engaging read and a lucid mental picture. And pictures paint a thousand words...

- HS

This script is wonderful. Very fast paced...something I like to see in an Action script. The story is very well developed with visual elements that bring us into the cold Russian setting. The subject matter (Red Mercury) is valuably intense due to our continued war on terror.

I've read some action scripts that try very hard to introduce a love plot within the structure, but only fail...which results in a very bad "Steven Segal" type piece that I just turn my nose up on. You handle the relationship between Valya and Alex with subtle grace that doesn't take away from the main focus.

- CF

Red Mercury is an action-packed, fast-paced page-turner. Espionage, betrayal, mystery and love - topped off with the Cirque du Soleil - makes this a truly engaging story.